Akatsuki
by SakuraShannaro
Summary: What Akatsuki do in their free time? Three chapters. Review!
1. The Night

"Full. I win." Kakuzu dropped his cards, and every Akatsuki member could tell he was smiling/smirking under the mask.

After all, winning money was everything to Kakuzu.

"Can we drink now?" Hidan asked, visibly bored. Hidan, naturally, had not played, completely uninterested in the card game.

Instead, he was preparing himself for the booze that would follow, and that was allowed by Pein rarely, almost never.

"Hidan, don't drink your ass again, un." Deidara muttered, putting on Sasori's cloak so he would cover his private parts.

He lost his cloak, Pein wouldn't be happy that he'd have to get another cloak ready, and Deidara also lost his clothes under the cloak.

And instead of hearing hours of whining, Sasori gave him his cloak immediately.

"Here's the sake." Zetsu said, extremely happy, appearing from the floor with three bottles of sake.

Black Zetsu didn't seem to happy.

"I won't be drinking." Kakuzu replied absently as he got his money from the table, counting it.

"Hell, I'll be drinking." Hidan jumped up from the floor, getting one of the bottles by force.

"Oi, that's for everybody!"

"Zetsu, you fucker, there are two more, Sasori and Deidara can share, and if Kisame and Itachi return early from their mission, well, _too bad_. They won't be drinking." Hidan gulped some of the bottle's content, sitting back down.

"Don't drink too much. You become more unbearable than usual." Kakuzu glared at Hidan furiously.

"Don't worry, Kakuzu-chan." Hidan squeezed Kakuzu's cheek, with the mask still on, making the ninety year old ninja even more furious.

"I'll kill you one day..." Kakuzu hissed, going back to counting his money. However, the artists' argument wouldn't let him count peacefully.

"Deidara, art is not an explosion. You damned brat, learn to listen and understand."

"But you're wrong."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm-"

"Shut it." Kakuzu said lowly, rolling his eyes.

"Kakuzu, nice panties!" Hidan entered the room, holding a white string, and stretching it.

"These are Konan's, probably. Although, I'd never imagine the a _ngel w_ ould wear such a thing, but they are Konan's, I hope." Kakuzu glanced at Deidara who was blushing a bit, v _ery_ unusual for the bomber.

"Eh, no, they are actually mine..." Deidara muttered. "Un..."

"Un? UN? That's all you have to say after that statement, Barbara?" Hidan barked, excited by the news.

"Barbara?"

"Barbie, sorry." Hidan smirked, turning the panties into a catapult, throwing a small rock from the ground at Deidara.

However, even if he had feminine underwear, he was fast when it came to dodging; and the rock hit Sasori.

"Oops." Hidan drank more sake with complete apathy.

"I'll kill you. I swear. Kakuzu, it's already starting. Do something." Sasori took a glass filling it with sake.

"I told you...Deidara definitely is taking it up in the ass." White and Black Zetsu arguments were always interesting.

"I guessed so too!" White Zetsu nodded.

However, that was extremely interesting to Hidan.

"Are you, Barbara-chan?"

"Why the hell Barbara?" Deidara was completely unamused, sending glares to both Zetsu and Hidan.

"Barbie for short, sorry."

"What- Ugh, _Kakuzu_ , do something, as Sasori asked you, un."

"How about we play a game?"

Everyone turned to look at Hidan.

"A...game? Talk about a serious criminal organization..." Deidara covered his one visible eye, facepalming while shaking his head, in disapprovement. "I'd never join if I knew-"

"You'd never join if Itachi hadn't beaten your ass, now let's play." Hidan commented, not knowing how furious Deidara had become.

"Oh, you're taking that back, un. I had never even heard of the damned Sharingan previously, how could I even win him? If it happened again today, my art would definitely win...un." Deidara said narrowing his eye.

"Okay, it's not like I give a damned fuck-"

"Language, Hidan, I am tired of listening to your cussing." Kakuzu was finally done with counting what he earned, and sat down next to Hidan.

"Can we just play!?"

"Fine, kami, fine, fine, fine!" Deidara exclaimed furiously, taking his seat next to Sasori.

"Okay, we are playing," Hidan took another sip. "Truth or dare."


	2. What happened?

Deidara woke up...and he looked around.

His vision wasn't clear at first. He shook his head as if that would help him see clearly.

He yawned, rubbing his eyes, noticing he was on the floor.

He slept on the fucking floor.

Judging from the fact he couldn't recall anything from the truth or dare game from last night, he could tell he passed out.

"Deidara, you're awake." Sasori said, while yawning so his speech wasn't very clear.

"I am. And you..." Sasori's wooden arm was missing, like Deidara's did once.

"What?" Sasori asked surprised.

"Your arm."

"Yeah, I lost it last night to Kakuzu. Although I win our bet with him. I bet you and Hidan wouldn't remember a thing today." Sasori said seriously.

"Don't tell me..." Deidara sighed, facepalming, as he covered his visible eye with his hand/mouth.

Someone had mixed their drinks again.

His and Hidan's.

"Won't you and Kakuzu at least apologize, un."

"No. We did it for fun." The bomber shoot a glare at Sasori.

"Yeah, but-" Deidara was interrupted by Hidan's screaming.

 _"Kakuzu, I will sacrifice all of your four hearts to Jashin!"_

 _"The alcohol cost a lot."_

 _"I don't give a fuck! Apologize now and tell me what happened last night!"_

 _"No."_

 _"Fucking yes."_

"How about you tell me?" Deidara asked Sasori angrily. "Un."

"I am not telling you a thing. It was a deal with Kakuzu and Kisame."

"You fucking did it to the Uchiha too!"

"We technically didn't. Kisame did."

Second interruption.

 _"Tsukuyomi! Will you tell me what happened?" Silence, but it's not like Deidara expected anything else, he'd been himself in the Tsukuyomi and it was only possible to reply inside the genjutsu._

"Fine, I will unite with Hidan and Itachi. We will find out. Hidan! Itachi! Enough with the Shinjihyouketsu and the Tsukuyomi, un."

Really, what had happened?


End file.
